Picture yourself standing in a bar or a restaurant. If you are by yourself, what are you doing? Do you feel uncomfortable because you are not talking to anyone? Do you reach for your mobile device and start texting or searching the Internet?
I have found myself in many situations where I am not comfortable because I am by myself or I am not in a conversation with a large group of people. This is a product of our culture in America. We have been taught we need to constantly be doing something to fit in or not be seen as a “loser.”
I was at a dinner party for my old job with a mixture from the American office and the Italian office. I was watching as the Americans were constantly trying to listen in or jump into conversations, I have to admit I was one of them, while many of the Italians were comfortable sitting at a table observing everyone else. I was joking with a collegue from Italy regarding this matter and he gave me some insightful information.
Matteo told me that in Italy people never feel the need to fit in with their surroundings. They are comfortable sitting in a crowded area with nothing but their thoughts. He said he has found in his travels that our culture is the only one that promotes constantly doing something rather than nothing.
After speaking with Matteo I have found myself often thinking about his words. I find when I am waiting for someone or in a large group I can step back and relax. I don’t have a need to grab my iPhone and look busy or make some witty comment to get in on a conversation. I am confident I am not a loser, most of the time!
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